Am I ready to adopt

Commitment is key

Are you ready to adopt? Do you know why you want to adopt?

Adopting a child can be an enormously enriching experience. It is also a difficult, often confusing and bewildering process that demands commitment and determination.  Most importantly you must be sure you want to become parents. Before beginning this life changing journey these are issues to consider:

  • Determine your motivation for adoption – infertility, desire to care for an orphan, expanding the family, etc. – your adoption goals, and make sure you have realistic expectations of what adoption means and the process
  • Decide what type of adoption best suits your family – infant, an older child, sibling group or a child with special needs
  • Is everyone in the family in agreement with adoption? It is important that members are committed to making the adoption happen, mindful always that not everyone may be at the same commitment level.
  • Research and understand the legal requirements of the law regarding adoptions and the adoption process in Malaysia
  • Your preparedness to invest time and money going through the interview process and attending pre and post parent training for adoptive parents
  • Adoption is a ‘team effort’. OrphanCare will work alongside you and the birth parents or mother. Nobody adopts alone or “accidently”

Commitment is key

Other pre-adoption considerations to consider:

  • Are we ready to be parents?
  • How do we see our marriage?
  • What is our lifestyle now? How will we handle this interruption?
  • Do we need much privacy and our own space?
  • How much sleep do we need?
  • How is our health? Are we physically and mentally ready to look after an adopted child?
  • Have we planned who will take care of the child? What is the division of labour at home?
  • Are we financially ready to support a new member? If one of us has to stop work  how will this affect our financial situation?
  • If there are children at home are we ready to become parents again and readjust the time we have for each child?
  • If we have experienced infertility, stillbirth, or miscarriage(s) have we gotten over the experience?
  • Has this experience affected our marriage? In what way?
  • Has this experience affected the way we see ourselves as parents?
  • Has this experience affected the relationships we have with others (relatives, friends, colleagues, etc.)? (No difference, become closer or farther)
  • Do we feel uncomfortable when people talk about giving birth?
  • How do we feel if asked to talk about infertility, stillbirth or miscarriage(s)?
  • Can we fully accept a child with no blood ties?
  • How do we view adoption parent training?
  • Do we have a dream child in mind? What expectations do we have about the child (including academic performance, moral values, life values, religious values, etc.)? What if the child does not meet our expectations?
  • What are our worries of not knowing the complete health and birth background of the child?
  • Can we accept the risks and unknowns involved in adoption?
  • Do we commit to the child for lifelong, despite who he or she will become in the future?
  • Can we embrace the child wholly, including anything about his or her birth family?
  • Are we prepared to tell the child he or she is adopted?
  • Is our family aligned and ready to start the adoption journey together?
  • How do we or people around us view adoption / the to-be-adopted child?
  • Do we see adoption as a last resort, a second-best choice?
  • Are we afraid of others knowing the child is adopted?
  • Are we afraid of people asking about the adoption?
  • Are we ready to talk about adoption and the child’s birthparents with the to-be-adopted child?
  • Do our families support our decision to adopt?
  • What expectations do we have about how well our families will accept the-to-be adopted child?
  • How does our perception of adoption affect our attitude and way of parenting (high expectation about the child, spoiling of the child, being overprotective, satisfy the child through financial and material means)?
  • If there are children at home already what are their views about a new sibling? Are we ready to answer questions they may have about adoption?
  • Is our family aligned and ready to start the adoption journey together?
  • How do we face the possible stresses of the adoption process?
  • Are we ready to talk about previous unhappy and traumatic experiences that the adoption process may bring up?
  • Are we ready to accept the entire adoption process, including working with different people and systems, being assessed and not having definite timelines with regards the waiting period?
  • How do we see the relationship between us and the child during the placement period when we are not yet the child’s legal parents?
  • Are we ready and willing to accept the likelihood that the wait will be long, that there may not be a match in a long time.

Source reference: Mother’s Choice Hong Kong

If you have questions about our Adoption Services. Please contact OrphanCare Foundation at: +603 7770 1900 or email: adoption@orphancare.org.my